Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My top 5 weirdest artists -No.4 Hieronymus Bosch

4) Hieronymus Bosch. - The time traveller.

It is my firm belief that Hieronymus Bosch had a time machine.

I say this because there is no way anyone could have painted what he did without the aid of both bad sci fi movies from the 50s and strong LSD from the 60's.

The flux capacitor

David Lynch could not imagine the stuff Bosch painted if he put Amy Winehouse and Robert Downey Jr. in a blender and drank the result.

Very little is known about Bosch. I know that he was born in the Middle Ages when they ate lead for good luck and bathed babies in mercury so that may have been a factor but I guess we'll never know. If Van Gough was the Kurt Cobain of Painting then who was Hieronymus Bosch? I'm going to have to go with Frank Zappa or Maybe an 'I am the walrus' era Lennon

Craziest Moment.

Painting 'The Garden of Earthly Delights.'

This one adds credibility to my Time machine theory as it is clearly inspired by an accidental stop off at Disneyland and painted on his return not knowing what the hell he'd just seen.

See 'Splash Mountain' in the background?

Did you know?

That only 25 works have been officially ascribed to Heironymus Bosch? Including this self portrait?

Not pictured, his apprentice Marty

My top 5 weirdest artists No. 5 : Vincent van Gough

5) Vincent van Gough - the least insane of the bunch.

Vincent van Gough, worried that his work may be overshadowed by a temporary lapse of judgement.

Before he decided to become an artist Vincent van Gough worked as a preacher. He was dismissed for 'overzealousness.' In 19th century Holland that would have had to be pretty damn overzealous. This gives us some idea of the man's personality

Already an intense sonofabitch, a case of syphilis and a fondness For brain rotting absinthe didn't help matters. Neither, one supposes, did the fact that he never sold a single painting in his entire life except to his long suffering brother Theo who 'continually and selflessly provided financial support.' Living in continual poverty and discouragement finally took it's toll.

Vincent , we of recession era Ireland understand your pain.

Kurt Cobain was once called 'The van Gough of his era'. Sure! I can see the similarity. They both shot themselves because they couldn't deal with the pressure of fame and obscene wealth right?

Some guy who died unrecognized and poverty stricken.

Craziest moment:

The van Gough ear moment reminds me of that 'Tori Amos pig picture.' A single act of bizarre behaviour that would overshadow the artists work forever.

The van Gough of her era

The difference is that van Gough's ear was not a publicity stunt but the ultimate reaction to a disapproving clean-freak roommate Paul Gaugin's endless bitching.

Vincent chased Guagin out of his house with an open razor then cut off this own ear lobe. Although if you'd been forced to listen to yet another lecture about putting the caps back on you paint tubes by an uptight obsessive compulsive you might have done
the same thing.

Paul Gaugin. disapproving of your messy desktop.

Did you know?

That van Gough was the van Gough of his era?