The Blog of Confusion

The end is nigh!

2011-12-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

Jeffrey F. Barken and I have nearly come to the end of our very interesting and enjoyable collaboration. The story is finished and a painting is underway.

Here is the final installment.

The people behind the portraits. 3: Simonetta Vespucci.

2011-12-12T10:08:00.000-08:00

The thing about renaissance artists is that they didn't care much about getting a likeness. It is thought that artists would flatter the attractive elements of their sitter's faces to the point that it no longer looked like them .

In real life she was quite ugly.

So while its is possible to speculate. No one will ever be sure that the Goddess Venus/Aphrodite in Botticelli's "The Birth of Venus" was Simonetta Vespucci. And critics have argued the point, pointlessly, for centuries.

I believe that the chances are good that it is her. Due to the fact the he wasn't the only one who painted her and so we have a fair idea of what she looked like. Although most portraits are posthumous and her appearance had probably become more legendary than accurately remembered.

"Many's the day she'd be seen wandering the fields topless with a snake 'round her neck.."

One thing is pretty much certain, and that is that Botticelli painted one (possibly the only surviving) portrait of her while she was alive.

Simonetta Vespucci ( who married a cousin of Amerigo Vespucci.) Was the belle of Florence. Possibly because she was the only woman in italy who didn't shave her eyebrows. She became very popular with the Medici brothers. Lorenzo the magnificent,

Isn't he wonderful?

and Giuliano.

"Just Giuliano" as he was dubbed by historians.

Giuliano ' The sporty one', once flew a banner featuring her portrait, also by Botticelli, at a jousting tournament, but had an unfortunate accident soon after, involving an assassin's sword and his face.

Simonetta died at the age of 22 of an illness. Most likely TB. Reportedly she had a funeral procession of thousands. Which only goes to show that the public care more when beautiful people die.

After their deaths Lorenzo;

Here he is again. Magnificent!

commissioned Botticelli to paint her and Giuliano as Venus and Mars. Complete with his big lance.

No word on how her husband felt about any of this.

Many historians rubbished the idea that Botticelli was in love with her, and the theory that Simonetta's face was repeated in his most famous work was dismissed by Felipe Fernández-Armesto as ''Romantic nonsense".

"The vulgar assumption, for instance, that she was Botticelli's model for all his famous beauties seems to be based on no better grounds than the feeling that the most beautiful woman of the day ought to have modelled for the most sensitive painter."

He's probably right

So what if his paintings are a veritable "Where's Wally?" of Simonetta look-alikes.

But what about the fact that , on his deathbed, Botticelli asked to be buried at her feet at Church of Ognissanti??

Romantic nonsense?

MACKEREL UPDATED!

2011-12-09T10:50:00.000-08:00

Check out the the penultimate chapter of Mackerel by J Jeffrey F. Barken and illustrated by me!

I'm about to start an oil painting based on the story. Feedback greatly appreciated.

Read it HERE.

The people behind the portraits.2: Juan de Pareja.

2011-12-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

Juan de Pareja was Diego Velázquez's assistant , and the subject of one of his most famous paintings. He also really should be the patron saint of unrecognised artists.

He was the guy who helped in the studio, grinding paint, preparing canvasses, cleaning up. Of course he did all of this for free... Just because he loved it! Just kidding! He did it for free because he was a slave.

Velasquez was considered quite the humanitarian in that he didn't starve, torture or otherwise abuse his slaves, but his kindness didn't extend to allowing the obviously talented de Pareja to paint.

Although this may have been because it was illegal for slaves to paint... Or do anything else that wasn't slaving.

So Juan de Pareja painted in secret. Because you cannot be surrounded by the works of Diego Velázquez all day long and not give it a go.

Velázquez was the official artist to the royal family.

He was the only one who could effectively capture the ridiculousness of their clothes.

One day King Philip IV was Visiting his studio and Juan de Pareja sneaked one of his own paintings into the room.

Just a little thing he threw together.

The king saw the work and asked who had done it, at which point de Pareja and his balls of steel stepped forward and said he had painted it, and asked for official recognition of his talent.

After this appeal the king's head began to vibrate, and smoke came out his ears like an android in a sci fi movie. You see, this did not compute. A slave, who was born a slave because God wanted him to be a slave... Could not be an artist.

The king proclaimed , that a man who painted like that ...Could not be a slave.

And Velasquez had no choice but to free him.

Unfortunately the ''Contract of liberation." Stipulated that he work for four more years for Velasquez. For pay one hopes. Must have been a tense working environment for a while there.

After he left , de Pareja made his living as a professional artist. His work is hard to find but some examples remain.

That steely, defiant glare has a whole new meaning now doesn't it?

The people behind the portraits. Jane Burden- Morris.

2011-11-29T17:19:00.000-08:00

What's the first image that pops into your head when you hear the term 'Pre-Raphaelite?'

Is it William Morris wallpaper?

No, it’s a pouty, moody , sensitive woman with long wavy hair. Don't deny it.

This woman.

Reincarnted as Kate Winslet.

Her name was Jane Burden and she may not have looked happy but she did pretty well. The daughter of a stableman, she grew up in miserable poverty and was destined for a life of domestic servitude before she became engaged to...Wait for it... William Morris. She then proceeded to re-invent the hell out of herself in a way that would make Madonna do a double take.

For starters she learned about 5 languages, fluently, learned piano and generally poshed up to the point that no one knew she had ever been anything but upper class. Rumour has it that George Bernard Shaw based the character of Eliza Doolittle on her.

She became active in politics also and supported Irish home rule. ( Fist pump!)

So here's the juicy part:

Morris painted her a fair bit...But when you think of that etherial, idealised goddess in the paintings, its not his paintings you're thinking of.

She was, of course, a model for her husband and also for his close friend and mentor . The charismatic , intense and slightly drug addled Dante Gabriel Rossetti.

Hubba

Who ,in the movie, would be played by Colin firth.

One of the paintings: 'Astarte Syriaca' was accompanied by the following verse:

Mystery: lo! betwixt the sun and moon  Astarte of the Syrians: Venus Queen  Ere Aphrodite was. In silver sheen  Her twofold girdle clasps the infinite boon  Of bliss whereof the heaven and earth commune:  And from her neck's inclining flower-stem lean  Love-freighted lips and absolute eyes that wean  The pulse of hearts to the sphere's dominant tune.   Torch-bearing, her sweet ministers compel  All thrones of light beyond the sky and sea  The witnesses of Beauty's face to be:  That face, of Love's all-penetrative spell  Amulet, talisman, and oracle, -  Betwixt the sun and moon a mystery.   ----Dante Gabriel Rossetti

Have you been 'Painting' my wife!?!

They were, of course, having an affair and poor William Morris was devastated. Incidentally Rossetti's wife, who he didn't paint half as often, Elizabeth Siddal...Killed herself. In the movie she would be played by that pretty, but insipid, red head one who would have been just perfect for James McAvoy's William Morris... If only the timing had been different!

The whole thing would be a Merchant Ivory production and it would be spectacular.

Mackerel: (An Irish American artistic collaboration)

2011-11-08T13:29:00.000-08:00

The first part of Jeffery's story , with a couple of sketches from yours truly, is up! I look forward to creating a painting based on this tale.

Click HERE To read it.

Collaboration with writer Jeffery Barken.

2011-09-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

Over the years many young , and not so young, hitchikers have stayed at Brushwood Studios. Sometimes We never hear from them again, sometimes they remain friends. Sometimes they are utterly insane and scare the crap out of your whole family , and sometimes... They become writers.

I met Jeff five years ago when he was just a teenager with a talent for words, an adventurous spirit and perfect American teeth. Now we are collaborating on a project. Check out his stories here , he's good.

Collaboration with Writer Jeff Barken.

2011-09-30T13:13:00.000-07:00

Over the years many young , and not so young, hitchikers have stayed at Brushwood Studios. Sometimes We never hear from them again, sometimes they remain friends , sometimes they are utterly insane and u . And sometimes, they become writers.

I met Jeffery Barkin a few yeas ago when he was just a teenager with a talent for words,an adverturous sprit and perfect American teeth. Now we are collabeoating on a project. Check out his stuff , he's good.

http://monologging.wordpress.com/2011/09/18/the-votes-are-in/

Art Workshops in September and October.

2011-08-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

Attention Friends!

In September and October I will be facilitating two weekend art workshops. "Kick Start Your Creativity' at the idillic "Eclipse" Centre in Co. Kerry.

You can find more information here.

My work will be on display as part of the ‘Audiolise’ project this month.

2011-05-10T12:49:00.000-07:00

ANNOUNCEMENT:
Any Dublin or Dundalk people out there? My work is going in display with the ‘Audiolise’ project. In May.

“Artistic creation is not mere decoration. The artist has to convey his inspiration to others while allowing them freedom and interpretation.”(Liu Chun Hau)
 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or so one is led to believe.
 Artistic endeavors are open to interpretation from each and every encounter, engagement with an art piece is mercurial. An artist may intend for one message to be conveyed but this can change recurrently upon interaction and engagement.
 What if it became possible to relay interpretations of visual art sonically? How then do we consider the resulting venn diagram? This is what ‘Audiolise’ aims to do. Working with a diverse team of Irish artists, both emerging and established from all over the country, we will use their work as the starting point to dive into a world of imagination and interpretation. By utilising emerging technology as the tool to harness opinion, the exhibition is only the first stage of the process. Post-exhibition the users sonic choices will be amalgamated and analysed in order to attempt to establish an understanding of perception.
 You are invited to take part in this unique project in The Basement Gallery in Dundalk on the 17th May and/or The Exchange Gallery in Dublin on the 19th of May, both for one night only. Showcasing the following artists: Sean Cotter, Susan Mc Evoy, Eoin Mac Lochlainn, Diana Muller, Erin Treacy, Ken Browne, Anne Muller and Ben Readman.

• Where: The Basement Gallery Dundalk
           When: 17th May, 10.00am – 4.30pm
           How much: Free

• Where: The Exchange Gallery, Temple Bar, Dublin
           When: 19 May · 15:00 - 22:30
           How much: Free

We will also be exhibiting at the FIS exhibtion at the start of June, 1st - 3rd, in the Carrols building on the DKIT campus in Dundalk.

More about Audiolise

Painting for the Drunk.

2011-02-14T13:33:00.000-08:00

A while back ago , I was suffering from a case of painter's block. I just couldn't come up with any new ideas and it was getting me down. I think the problem was that I couldn't stop thinking. I was too busy, distracted easily, and stressed out. I found myself obsessing over technicalities and was unable to finish anything.

I was looking through some art books that turned up when I was rooting through the studio and found an article about Francis Bacon. That explorer of the dark heart of artistic expression (or something). My eye fell upon the creepy yet fascinatingly phallic representation of ''Three Studies for Figures at the Base of a Crucifixion."

It really does look like dongs though doesn't it?

here, readers is a quote from Bacon re. the triptich.

"I was so drunk I didn't know what I was doing."

So drunk... He didn't know... what he was doing.

My brain mulled the words as I looked from the page to my canvass and messy palette....
What darkness lives in my heart? I wondered. What bizarre creatures might be unleashed onto the canvass if only I were slightly less uptight?

STEP ONE. Find the right booze.

Not being able to afford my own alcohol just at the moment I found alternative means...

It does make a mean martini though.

No. Not drinking the solvent I use to clean my brushes, but you're in the right ballpark.

A few summers ago my younger cousin Andy had a party.

Several if memory serves.

A garden party to be exact. I can still recall the melodious heavy guitar riffs and sounds of vomiting outside my window at 5am after I barricaded myself inside.

These feckers

The next morning The front lawn looked like downtown Baghdad after the arrival of democracy. Bodies lying on every available surface and a wild mountain goat eating pringles off someone's chest... Anyway among the wreckage were bottles, many of them empty and most of the contents unidentifiable. But in one , with an Eastern European looking label, remained a green liquid. It was still in the cupboard...

For a reason as it turns out, but more on that later...

Absinthe.

It was perfect! What more artisty drink than absinthe? The very devil that drove so many Victorian Frenchmen into creative insanity. How could I NOT try it?

I poured a large glass and got to work...

So here's what I didn't know about absinthe

A. The supposed hallucinogenic properties of wormwood are greatly exaggerated and in fact... Non existent. The brain addling properties the drink used to posses were from the green colorants they used to put in it. Good old green!

B: It tastes like someone melted a packet of liquorice alsorts, like Sambuca and petrol had a baby, like Chernobyl juice.

Either way I wasn't drinking that shit.

So I dug out the raspberry vodka I made last year.

To make raspberry vodka see here

It tastes like God's sweat and it s full of vitamin C.( Citation needed)

STEP 2: Getting Started.

First... wear a smock (or something) and make sure you have

paint

and brushes

and odorless solvent ( do not drink)

Music is needed for painting So after a while ( two hours) of dancing around to Sigur Rós instead of painting, I actually stepped up to the canvass and gave it a shot...

STEP 3: Instant genius.

"Come on subconscious!" I cried. "Do our worst! Open the floodgates bitch!"

I have double vision at the best of times so I was slightly physically hampered by this but once I got started I didn't seem to matter any more.

The next thing I knew I was transported... To the couch where I was watching TV. I don’t know what happened. 'Two and a Half Men' was on.

It was the one where Alan was being a whiny bitch about something...You know the one...

Anyway After going back to the studio and drinking more Raspberry hooch I looked at my creation.

The darkest recesses of my subconscious ladies and gentlemen.

Having analysed it and delved deep, I have identified it as a happy tree frog smelling a big pink flower...

Dear God! What have I done?

Fire

2011-01-18T11:16:00.001-08:00

"O! for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention. "
William Shakespeare

New 'Cave bear' design at my shop!

2010-12-31T04:54:00.000-08:00

Aren't you sick of people pointing and laughing at your boringly generic tote and/or messenger bag? Do their snorts of derision erode your self esteem?

Buy a cave bear bag! That will show everybody! (A mousepad, and clock wouldn't hurt your cred either.)

Shop here!

A Hypochondriac's Guide to Paint

2010-01-06T05:25:00.000-08:00

Being the hypochondriac that I am, and since I can't seem to get through a day of painting without ending up covered from head to foot. I thought it might be a good idea to check the toxicity of my colours. Here are some of the worst offenders in my paint box.

WARNING! HORROR AHEAD!

Cobalt Blue

It's named after a Goblin or 'Kobold' on account of it's discovery in German silver mines (where goblins were thought to live). After reading up on it I'm inclined to think its malevolent nature can only be ascribed to tiny minions of satan.

This is also the most expensive paint. More expensive than silver...Maybe... Which is why I don't use it much...Thank GOD.

Anyway:

Cobalt poisoning can occur when you are exposed to large amounts of cobalt. There are three basic ways that cobalt can cause poisoning. You can swallow too much of it, breathe too much into your lungs, or have it come in constant contact with your skin. ( like me)
The invisible Kobold Goblins will then work their magic thus:
Your heart will become so big and floppy that it can't pump blood , Your nervous system will cease to function properly. It also causes Thyroid problems, Thickening of the blood... And other symptoms I won't go into here.

The only way to antidote it is to find the offending Goblin and kill it with holy water.

Vermilion

Contains mercury Which will kill you dead, but not before dissolving your brain slowly, until you are a quivering, insane, wreck. It also gives you something called 'Pink Disease' which is less charming than it sounds. In Victorian times Mercury was an ingredient in a solution used in the making of hats. Hence the term 'Mad as a Hatter.'

It was also an ingredient in various medicines including a teething remedy. Hell, they probably knocked back shot glasses of the stuff. In fact it can be found today in amalgam filings, tuna and vaccinations. I don't see why I should worry. People in Victorian times had long, healthy lives right?

Cadmium Red.

Hoo boy!

This one will start out looking like flu , then bad flu then really bad flu... Then shrinks your kidneys, and softens your bones until they are fractured by your OWN BODY WEIGHT. Then , luckily for you, you go into a coma. I forget what happens next...

Oh right

Manganese Blue

This one worries me as I use it all the time, and I won't stop. Even though I now know the grisly manner of my own demise.

As the name suggests contains manganese. As well as creating a lovely greeny blue shade it will...

A. Affect my brain chemistry in the same way as schizophrenia.
B. Give me symptoms akin to a delightful combination of Parkinson's disease , Lou Gehrig's disease and multiple sclerosis.
C.Destroy all my internal organs.

... And pretty much every other terrifying symptom you can imagine. In fact if you swallow Manganese you'll be lucky if you don't end up melting into a puddle of fluids like that senator guy from the X-Men... How Mystique managed to survive being dipped in the stuff remains a mystery.

Not recommended

Flake White

Flake White and various others are made from lead. This is the same paint people in the 1600s put all over their faces. The first signs that it might not have been a great idea to paint yourself with lead would have been... Pain, muscle weakness and pins and needles. Then over the long term you would become less intelligent and non-verbal reasoning, short-term memory, fine motor skills, emotional regulation, and social engagement would be destroyed.

In other words you would be part of the generation that spawned the Marquis de Sade, thought the castrati were a good idea, and wore wigs so gigantic that they got caught in chandeliers.

I think I'll just dispose of the flake white in a controlled explosion.

T shirt Shop

2009-08-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gent's I'd like to draw your attention to a Tshirt shop that my esteemed associate John and I have started up.

Like TV?

Like obscure TV references?

You'll love

http://www.cafepress.com/jamworks

My top 5 weirdest artists -No.1 Henry Darger

2009-08-12T06:03:00.000-07:00

Henry Darger - is RIGHT BEHIND YOU!

Nobody thunk it

The world of American folk art is , of course rife with eccentricity but Darger was certinly ahead of the curve. They say there is a fine line between genius and insanity and Henry Darger pole vaulted over that line and then ran screaming over into insanity covered with excrement , tearing his clothes off.

Known locally around his Chicago neighbourhood as 'That old hobo who talks to himself ' Darger died in 1973. His landlords, upon clearing out his apartment, found that he was the author of "The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinian War Storm Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion” the worlds longest fictional novel at 15,145 total pages. About two people have read the entire thing and both went insane after the first five pages. They also found a 10 year daily weather journal and an eight volume, 5,084-page autobiography.

The tale is of child heroes and evil warriors on another planet fighting a battle that resembles the civil war. Darger appears as a character multiple times in his own story as both hero and villain alternately saving the seven Christian 'Vivian girls' from heathen 'Glandelinian' soldiers and slaughtering them in ways too horrible to transcribe. It had hundreds of illustrations, large brightly coloured fantasy landscapes, his human figures were traced from magazines.

Er...

Having way with words and evidently highly intelligent Darger had been placed in an adult mental asylum after his parents death and his diagnosis with the condition of 'self abuse' (don't you just love the olden days?) and only escaped at the age of 19 which does kind of explains the whole craziness thing.

Ye Olde Psychiatrist

Darger is commonly believed to have had no significant relationship with another human being in his life and it is supposed that he never saw a woman naked (Would you have dated him?) This may explain why all the little girls in his story (often depicted naked ) have penises...Yes you read correctly . It doesn't not explain ,however, why he depicted them strangled, decapitated and dismembered so often in his work.

Yeah...You don't want to see that

Craziest Moment

It depends on who you believe, his whole life was pretty much one long crazy moment but...

It may be significant that the incident in Darger's mythos that starts the Glandeco-Angelinian War is ‘the loss of a photograph of Elsie Paroubek'. Well if you the into account that Elsie Paroubek was a 10 year old murder victim , killed just after Darger escaped from the asylum and correlate the two events then....You may just have a moment that stood out . Not that I'm saying... Well Um...Yeahhh. Can you libel the dead?

Did you know?

That there is a crazy old man living in the apartment above you writing a 30,000 page epic about a family of mice? Oh...and there are heads in his fridge.

My top 5 weirdest artists -No.2 William Blake -The Mystic

2009-06-24T05:36:00.000-07:00

William Blake -The Mystic

''Holy Shit! An angel!''

Ok I know he's better known for his poetry than his painting but like the individual that stole the top spot Blake's writing and pictures combine to form an epic mythology. As weird as he was Blake is still by far the coolest person on this list.
Blake was ahead of his time as a slavery abolitionist, feminist and critic of the Church. Such things made him a social outcast during his life.
In fact he was so far ahead of his time we have yet to catch up with him and he is widely regarded as batshit insane. He experienced 'visions' from an early age when seeing the face of 'God' through a window caused the 4 year old Blake to scream hysterically.

Blake may have been dyslexic

After that he spoke with ghosts and saw Angels on a regular basis.

'The Ghost of a Flea'

A living flea

He also made up his own religion . He was the L. Ron Hubbard of his era. He wrote several philosophical 'Prophetic' books outlining his world view including characters like the Evil creator God Urizen, Tharmas the God of Strengh, Urthona imagination and Luvah or love, also known as 'Orc'. Actually maybe he was 'The J.R.R. Tolkien of his era.

Blake on a normal Saturday night

Did you know?

Blake once said:

''Do what you will, this world's a fiction and is made up of contradiction.''
William Blake

My top 5 weirdest artists -No.3 Salvador Dali

2009-04-22T15:26:00.000-07:00

Salvador Dali - A Man Posessed

Salvador Dali was one of the most intriguing men in the history of art, melding psychology, spirituality and physics into a complex artistic web...Now with that out of the way I can focus on telling his true life story for the rest of the blog.

Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech, (really) was born on May 11, 1904, at 8:45 a.m. GMT in the town of Figueres, in the Empordà region, close to the French border in Catalonia, Spain. As if having seven , hard to spell, names wasn't traumatic enough he was also the only little boy in his school with a moustache.(after extensive google searching I have found no pictures of a clean shaven Dali, which can only lead me to conclude that he was,in fact, born with the moustache.) This set him apart from the other children and he was called 'Hair lip' at school, causing him to run away to Milan at the age of 12, hoping to graduate from the Art Academy there.

Salvador Dali , shortly after birth

The moustache had other plans.

In the beginning it was content to be an average , if well kept 'Tache. The mild mannered Dali pampered it, swelled its ego and it began to bully him. Soon the opinionated moustache was finishing his sentences for him and forcing him to agree with it's radical ideas.Dalí was expelled from the Academia in 1926, shortly before his final exams, when he stated that no one on the faculty was competent enough to examine him. No one could understand why he would say such a thing. It was so unlike him.

It was at about this time when his skills as a painter suddenly improved drastically with no apparent reason. he made his first visit to Paris, where he met with Pablo Picasso. By this time the moustache had become a diva, demanding to be waxed at least 5 times a day and decorated according to the season.

More moustache now, than man, Dali surrendered to it's will.

The moustache began to evolve...Possibly growing into his brain, totally eclipsing Dali's personality. The Moustache had ambition and talent and it became one of the worlds greatest artists.

Its True.

The Moustache had a long and very successful life. Only succumbing to greyness at the age of 106.

My top 5 weirdest artists -No.4 Hieronymus Bosch

2009-02-11T13:19:00.000-08:00

4) Hieronymus Bosch. - The time traveller.

It is my firm belief that Hieronymus Bosch had a time machine.

I say this because there is no way anyone could have painted what he did without the aid of both bad sci fi movies from the 50s and strong LSD from the 60's.

The flux capacitor

David Lynch could not imagine the stuff Bosch painted if he put Amy Winehouse and Robert Downey Jr. in a blender and drank the result.

Very little is known about Bosch. I know that he was born in the Middle Ages when they ate lead for good luck and bathed babies in mercury so that may have been a factor but I guess we'll never know. If Van Gough was the Kurt Cobain of Painting then who was Hieronymus Bosch? I'm going to have to go with Frank Zappa or Maybe an 'I am the walrus' era Lennon

Craziest Moment.

Painting 'The Garden of Earthly Delights.'

This one adds credibility to my Time machine theory as it is clearly inspired by an accidental stop off at Disneyland and painted on his return not knowing what the hell he'd just seen.

See 'Splash Mountain' in the background?

Did you know?

That only 25 works have been officially ascribed to Heironymus Bosch? Including this self portrait?

Not pictured, his apprentice Marty

My top 5 weirdest artists No. 5 : Vincent van Gough

2009-02-11T13:13:00.000-08:00

5) Vincent van Gough - the least insane of the bunch.

Vincent van Gough, worried that his work may be overshadowed by a temporary lapse of judgement.

Before he decided to become an artist Vincent van Gough worked as a preacher. He was dismissed for 'overzealousness.' In 19th century Holland that would have had to be pretty damn overzealous. This gives us some idea of the man's personality

Already an intense sonofabitch, a case of syphilis and a fondness For brain rotting absinthe didn't help matters. Neither, one supposes, did the fact that he never sold a single painting in his entire life except to his long suffering brother Theo who 'continually and selflessly provided financial support.' Living in continual poverty and discouragement finally took it's toll.

Vincent , we of recession era Ireland understand your pain.

Kurt Cobain was once called 'The van Gough of his era'. Sure! I can see the similarity. They both shot themselves because they couldn't deal with the pressure of fame and obscene wealth right?

Some guy who died unrecognized and poverty stricken.

Craziest moment:

The van Gough ear moment reminds me of that 'Tori Amos pig picture.' A single act of bizarre behaviour that would overshadow the artists work forever.

The van Gough of her era

The difference is that van Gough's ear was not a publicity stunt but the ultimate reaction to a disapproving clean-freak roommate Paul Gaugin's endless bitching.

Vincent chased Guagin out of his house with an open razor then cut off this own ear lobe. Although if you'd been forced to listen to yet another lecture about putting the caps back on you paint tubes by an uptight obsessive compulsive you might have done
the same thing.

Paul Gaugin. disapproving of your messy desktop.

Did you know?

That van Gough was the van Gough of his era?

My online store

2009-02-04T17:46:00.000-08:00

Well my cafepress store is finally working!

cafepress.com/disfineart

I have a selection of cards, journals, magnets and some other fun stuff. I'm expanding it all the time so if you want a particular design on a particular product please let me know and I'll do it.

Letter from America 1

2008-10-07T21:10:00.000-07:00

So After two days in Kentucky I think I'm finally beginning to recover from the 18 hour train ride from New York. After ten days in the city my first impressions are still forming. I suppose that's normal since it was such a huge culture shock.

John and I officially have museum fatigue after seeing the Guggenheim, Natural History and MOMA in one day , The Met having been scoured for two days previously.

So much beautiful stuff, The Impressionists are my favourites to see in real life because they really do look different in the flesh. I have to say I never really appreciated Renoir in books but in real life...Wow.

I saw a documentary on Sky Arts a while ago analysing why he didn't show the seamy underbelly of Paris and chose to show the lighter side of life instead. The doc suggested that he was trying to be ironic and that he was making a political statement by showing the middle class being shallow and decadent.

I think a more likely explanation might be that he , not being a wealthy man, actually lived in the underbelly and might not have wanted to dwell on it. Maybe he liked to see people enjoying themselves? Maybe he wasn't a total misanthropist? Just a thought. Feel the Cynicism.

We were also lucky enough to see some Picasso,Dali, Miro and Kandinsky Etc. Damian Hurst's Shark is on Display in the Met. I wonder how he managed to get one? Did he catch it himself or Hang around the aquarium a lot until one floated belly up?Personally I would have used a dolphin. That would have caused more fuss. Dolphins were voted the worlds favourite animals behind Tigers and Pandas (The very ones people are killing of the fastest...Irony?)

The public's reaction to a dead Dolphin

Anyway it started to get a Little less fun for me with Beyus, Bacon,Pollack etc.Is it just me or did art kind of go to shite after World war two? It seemed to get very clever any cynical and really, really ugly. It doesn't do much for me anyway. I wonder what happened?

Yeah, I don't get it either

My personal favourite was the Henry Darger exhibit at The Folk Art Museum. He certainly lived in his own world. Not in a good way either. He makes me think of a psychotic Lewis Caroll.

Alice in Murderland

We spent an afternoon in the West Village and I put on my best ' I could be someone' face and told a couple of gallery proprietors I was 'doing research on NY galleries' and discovered that... Surprise...They charge quite a lot. 1600 to 2400 for a small oil (about 16 by 20) and anything up to 20 or 30 grand for a large one. Expensive but so is rent in the West Village (7000 a month or thereabouts)

Me. 'What are commissions like?'

Guy. 'Oh between 30 and 50 per cent'

Me '30!!!!'

He 'Um...Well...Usually more like 50...' pause '...60'

So about the same as home then .

See you all in Art Hell

2008-06-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

'Can an artwork have integrity if the artist has none?'

This was one of many, many posts on the arts forum I was browsing that included the word 'integrity'.

‘Integrity and art.’

‘Can you sell your art and still have integrity?’

‘How much integrity do you have? take out quiz and find out.’

Integrity is important to artists and , perhaps even more important to art critics. One might even argue that integrity is THE most important factor in what makes for 'Good ' art. The winner of last years 'Big Modern Art Prize for Arty Friends of the Art Museum ' might be a cows head on a spike with snooker balls for eyes but , you know what? The artist really meant it.

There is another aspect to this . Apparently artists who , you know... Make a living selling their work, are a bunch of filthy 'sell outs' who are prostituting their souls... Interesting no?

So I looked it up in the dictionary and discovered something else rather interesting.

The word integrity means the exact same thing as the word 'Honesty' and I prefer the word 'Honesty' because it sounds like a common sense, salt of the earth homely, honest word. Whereas 'Integrity’ sounds sharp and bitchy.

First , in my opinion, regarding the first question , an artwork can't be honest because it's an artwork and has no self awareness. Ask the next cow head with snooker ball eyes you see if it has integrity and see what it says.

So why is it important for artists to be honest? Is it not a bit more important for say, accountants to be honest? Lawyers? Politicans?
And why, for some reason does actually selling your work make you , in the eyes of some, somehow lacking in Honesty? When a carpenter sells a shelving unit is he 'selling out' or 'making a living.'?

Well it's very simple . Its really bloody hard to make a living as an artist so when someone actually manages to sell something it sends other artists and wannabe artists (read critics) mad with envy... Especially if it’s something the other artists consider ugly or... Even worse, better than their own art.

Now I'm not saying that the theoretical cow's head snooker ball piece is bad art... Well, I am saying that, but lets pretend that top critics love the piece for its copious gushing, dripping integrity and it's bought by some moron with more money than taste... For a hundred grand. Would Cow's head artists be a sell out?

Yes... Unless...They're making an artistic statement about selling out then it would be ok. The best part is that all you have to do to make an artistic statement about selling out is to say. 'I'm making an artistic statement about selling out.' Preferably without smiling... Well, maybe a knowing smirk. Would I , with my meagre living, be really really jealous of cow head artist? Yeah I would . see how it works?

Lets forget for a moment the fact that all art from cave painting to cow heads is conceptual , since, it does all start with an idea( ie. ' I think I'll draw a bison today.')
and pretend that the world of ' Conceptual Art' is something other than the drug fuelled , pretentious bullshitting of some self righteous 30 year old teenagers.

Conceptual artists can't sell out. If you create 'conceptual' art it's nearly impossible to sell out. because 'conceptual' art is based on a concept or 'idea' and 'you can't own thoughts maaan!' (At least I imagine that's the kind of crap going through the head of a conceptual artist, I don’t know I’m not a crystal meth addict.)

So yeah they have 'immunity' to loss of integrity , a bit like immunity on survivor except the loser doesn't get kicked off a tv show they go to 'art hell'... Where the sell outs live in comfortable , suburban houses and paint flowers and such. But God help you if you actually want to paint flowers and sell one for a couple of hundred quid. That is, unless the flowers in question are a reflection of the darkest and most twisted recesses of you soul. In which case just say so and it's ok.

Another way to get 'Integrimunity' is to be an alcoholic or drug addict, or a mentally ill person, preferably all three. This will ensure that , despite the fact that you sell your work, you are miserable enough to allow other artists and critics to feel superior to you. Even if your art isn’t ugly enough to make a sewer worker puke.

After all if Vincent van Gough had been a happy, well balanced man who created a popular print of 'sunflowers' and sold a million copies of it, his paintings wouldn't have been nearly as good would they ?

Here's an idea for those in search of integrity. Next time you see an art work you do or don't like...be honest and say so.

I wanted to write about Art

2008-06-12T10:34:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about art today... 'Self expression this and integrity that... blah blah blah' but to tell you the truth I'd rather talk about religion so...

ladies and gents, I had the pleasure of speaking with GOD yesterday, maybe this transcript will answer some of your questions...

AN INTERVIEW WITH GOD:

Di: So Lord, nice to have you here.

GOD: Please lets not be so formal, call me Joe.

Di. Er..Joe, did you have a nice flight?

GOD: Yes I had the Kosher meal it was very nice.

Di: What is your opinion on the religion?

GOD: Hehe! Well I never thought it would take off the way it did...

Di: What about all the suffering and war caused by conflicting beliefs?

GOD: Well its a question of personal interpretation, I mean uh, after I put something out there it kind of belongs to the people.

Di: But doesn't it annoy you when people get it wrong?

GOD: Well its subjective, You know? That whole free will conundrum, I create free will and the expect people not to use it? It all in the eye of the beholder really isn't it? I cant say 'This passage in the Bible means this or that' because of the infinite truth theory.

Di: infinite truth theory?

GOD: Yeah, I mean if someone believes something is true, then it is...From their point of view, and whose to say their viewpoint is less valid than the next man? I mean dude up to you to take it and run with it know?

Di: You mentioned the Bible there, How do you feel about Holy Books now?

GOD: Well, you know Biographers...

Di: Are you upset with your portrayal in The Bible and Koran?

GOD: Let me just say that the calibre or writer 5 thousand years ago was not what it is now, If I was going to do it again I'd have someone like Clive Cussler do it, that man can keep you turning pages! Also I'd hold onto the copyright.

Di:Are you often misquoted?

GOD: Tell me about it! A couple of centuries ago some kid thought I'd told her to lead the French army! All I'd asked her for was a French roll! But thats what I get for sending St. John on an errand, you wouldn't believe the amount of mistakes in his gospel, he's deaf as a post!

Di: Do you feel hurt that people blame you for things that go wrong in the world?

GOD: Well all I can say is, build yourself a planet with a self aware species on it and see how well you do. I mean at least I did somthing with my life y’ know?

Di: There are some people who don't believe you exist at all...

GOD: No Problem, I believe in them, as their very existence can testify.

Di: I'm going to throw some words at you and let you respond...

GOD: Ok

Di: Platypus

GOD: Hehe! Yeah, I get a lot of questions about that. The truth is I’d created Alcohol earlier that day and...Well lets just say ‘don’t drink and create’ I created the hangover to remind myself not to do it again.

Di; Fundamentalism

GOD: If you want to take the words of the ancient's equivalent of a tabloid journo seriously, I wont stop you...

Di: Jesus...

GOD: I'm really very proud of the little guy, he's an idealist you know? He's a little disappointed at the response he got but I think his heart was in the right place.

Di; Buddha...

GOD: Oh man! He throws the best parties! No one knows how to chill like Buddha y’know what I’m saying? We had tea the other week,he's on tour with his band ‘Budda and the place of infinite peace ‘ at the moment, so I haven't seen him in a while.

Di: Lucifer...

GOD: *Rolls eyes*. There's one in every family you know what I'm saying?

Di: Hell yeah you should meet my cousin Frank.

GOD: I love Frank!

Di: Yeah but everyone else thinks he's an Asshole.

GOD: *laughs*

Di: So what are your plans for the future?

GOD: I was thinking of re- arranging the universe

Di: Oh?

GOD: yes I think it could use more dark matter, I'd prefer it to be oval...I like ovals.

He was realy very nice, in and 'old hippy' kind of way. If anyone has questions for him I'd be happy to ask him during our next chat.